How to help your child settle back into school
3rd October 2025
At SELFA, we offer a variety of mental health support to children and young people. Whether it’s a safe space to talk through worries, or developing coping strategies with a professional, we make sure children are listened to and heard.
This support can be especially important during times of change, such as returning to school after the holidays. You may expect your child to have some anxious feelings and nerves before heading back to school. But what if your child is still struggling to settle back into school life, despite having been back for several weeks?
“Children can find the transition back to school after the holidays quite difficult. Changes in routine and expectation can be difficult to adjust to,” says therapist and Counselling Directory member Lucy Hills-Gale.
A number of things can cause a child to feel anxious, including changes to friendship groups, worries about homework, different classes and different teachers. Some children may feel overstimulated by a busy school environment.
The transition back to school can be particularly hard for shy or anxious children, as they may worry about not knowing what is happening or getting new things wrong. “This can be tricky when starting a new school year as there are lots of changes, which can feel unfamiliar and daunting,” explains Hills-Gale. “Children who have separation anxiety can find school hard as it means being away from caregivers and this can feel scary.”
Children with special educational needs or disabilities (SEND) may struggle with changes, as they may associate school with certain familiar faces or environments. “It may be particularly difficult if the child is unable to communicate their worries or to process the concept of returning to school and any associated changes,” says Hills-Gale.
So what can you do to help a child settle back into school? Lucy Lang, SELFA’s mental health programme manager, has some helpful advice.
Keep talking about school throughout the holidays
You can continue the conversation about school throughout the holidays. “For example, when eating lunch, you could ask them what type of foods they would like in their packed lunches, or ask them what they are excited about in the new school year,” says Lang.
Talk through what will happen on the first day back and explain any changes beforehand. SEND children may benefit from a book with words, signs, symbols and pictures, showing the order things will happen and anything new.
Re-establish daily routines
Set clear boundaries of bed time and wake-up and what the morning routine expectations are, such as getting dressed, brushing hair and brushing teeth. “Praise them when they follow it – starting their day off with praise will boost their confidence before even getting to school,” says Lang.
Create a calm drop off routine
Ask your child what they’d like to happen at drop off, whether it is a hug, a wave or dropping them off just before the gate, if appropriate. “This will give them a sense of ownership of the day and keeping it consistent will help them to feel secure,” explains Lang. “Avoid lingering at drop off – short, positive goodbyes work best.”
Make sure they rest
After a full school day, children often need downtime before tackling homework or extra activities. Set time aside for children to play, rest and recuperate before asking them to do more tasks.
Celebrate progress
Small wins are big wins! Celebrate the little things, like a child remembering to bring their reading book, bravery at drop-off or putting their hand up in class.
Keep checking in
“Don’t just ask if they had a good day because you’ll often be met with a one-word reply,” says Lang. “Try to ask open questions that encourage more of a conversation and an opportunity for your child to open up about something, like what made them laugh or what their favourite lesson was.”
And don’t forget – you aren’t alone. Many children take time to adjust to a new routine. You can share any worries with the teachers so they are aware and can support you.