How to help your child settle back into school

3rd October 2025

At SELFA, we offer a variety of mental health support to children and young people. Whether it’s a safe space to talk through worries, or developing coping strategies with a professional, we make sure children are listened to and heard.

This support can be especially important during times of change, such as returning to school after the holidays. You may expect your child to have some anxious feelings and nerves before heading back to school. But what if your child is still struggling to settle back into school life, despite having been back for several weeks?

“Children can find the transition back to school after the holidays quite difficult. Changes in routine and expectation can be difficult to adjust to,” says therapist and Counselling Directory member Lucy Hills-Gale.

A number of things can cause a child to feel anxious, including changes to friendship groups, worries about homework, different classes and different teachers. Some children may feel overstimulated by a busy school environment.

The transition back to school can be particularly hard for shy or anxious children, as they may worry about not knowing what is happening or getting new things wrong. “This can be tricky when starting a new school year as there are lots of changes, which can feel unfamiliar and daunting,” explains Hills-Gale. “Children who have separation anxiety can find school hard as it means being away from caregivers and this can feel scary.”

Children with special educational needs or disabilities (SEND) may struggle with changes, as they may associate school with certain familiar faces or environments. “It may be particularly difficult if the child is unable to communicate their worries or to process the concept of returning to school and any associated changes,” says Hills-Gale.

So what can you do to help a child settle back into school? Lucy Lang, SELFA’s mental health programme manager, has some helpful advice.

Keep talking about school throughout the holidays

You can continue the conversation about school throughout the holidays. “For example, when eating lunch, you could ask them what type of foods they would like in their packed lunches, or ask them what they are excited about in the new school year,” says Lang.

Talk through what will happen on the first day back and explain any changes beforehand. SEND children may benefit from a book with words, signs, symbols and pictures, showing the order things will happen and anything new.

Re-establish daily routines

Set clear boundaries of bed time and wake-up and what the morning routine expectations are, such as getting dressed, brushing hair and brushing teeth. “Praise them when they follow it – starting their day off with praise will boost their confidence before even getting to school,” says Lang.

Create a calm drop off routine

Ask your child what they’d like to happen at drop off, whether it is a hug, a wave or dropping them off just before the gate, if appropriate. “This will give them a sense of ownership of the day and keeping it consistent will help them to feel secure,” explains Lang. “Avoid lingering at drop off – short, positive goodbyes work best.”

Make sure they rest

After a full school day, children often need downtime before tackling homework or extra activities. Set time aside for children to play, rest and recuperate before asking them to do more tasks.

Celebrate progress

Small wins are big wins! Celebrate the little things, like a child remembering to bring their reading book, bravery at drop-off or putting their hand up in class.

Keep checking in

“Don’t just ask if they had a good day because you’ll often be met with a one-word reply,” says Lang. “Try to ask open questions that encourage more of a conversation and an opportunity for your child to open up about something, like what made them laugh or what their favourite lesson was.”

And don’t forget – you aren’t alone. Many children take time to adjust to a new routine. You can share any worries with the teachers so they are aware and can support you.

SELFA Pathfinders Program: A Year of Transformational Impact

11th December 2024

SELFA would like to extend heartfelt thanks to the IGEN Trust for supporting the first year of the Pathfinders Program. This two-year initiative has been a lifeline for children aged 10-14 in Craven who struggle with school anxiety, refusal, and related challenges. By providing structured, activity-based support, Pathfinders is helping young people regain confidence and re-engage with mainstream education.

The program serves children referred by schools and local authorities, with a focus on those with reduced attendance or on reduced timetables. Over the past year, Pathfinders has supported 30 children through a weekly program mirroring the school day. Morning sessions focus on individual goal-setting, resilience-building, and fostering independence. Afternoons offer enriching activities chosen by the children, such as pottery painting, caving, aerial silks, and llama trekking. These activities are designed to boost confidence, nurture friendships, and cultivate a sense of belonging.

One participant described the program as a highlight of their week, saying, “Pathfinders lets me learn outside the classroom and gives me something to look forward to.”

Empowering Families

The program also recognizes the vital role of family involvement. Pathfinders includes a Parent Support Program that has engaged 22 parents this year in half-day weekly sessions. These sessions provide practical guidance and a peer support network, equipping parents with tools to better support their children. Topics range from managing anxiety to creating positive routines, with parents encouraged to actively contribute and share their experiences.

“The sessions helped me realize how much I needed support,” shared one parent. “I feel more confident moving forward and less guilty about the challenges we face as a family.”

Parents also receive tailored resources, including action plans and information on accessing additional support. This collaborative approach ensures the strategies learned in Pathfinders are reinforced at home.

A Measurable Difference

The Pathfinders Program has demonstrated significant improvements in participants’ mental wellbeing. According to data from the Short Warwick-Edinburgh Mental Wellbeing Scale, 74% of young people reported better problem-solving abilities, and 54% noted clearer thinking. Additional improvements included feeling more relaxed (39%) and useful (24%), while 23% reported feeling closer to others.

These outcomes reflect the program’s ability to address not only the children’s academic and social needs but also their emotional wellbeing, paving the way for sustained progress in school and beyond.

Overcoming Challenges

Despite a 33% increase in referrals compared to the previous year, SELFA has worked tirelessly to meet the growing demand for its services. Integrating some participants into the program required additional time and care, but the team’s commitment has ensured each child receives the support they need.

Looking Ahead

Thanks to the generous funding from the IGEN Trust, Pathfinders is poised to continue making a profound difference in the lives of children and families. As the program enters its second year, SELFA remains steadfast in its mission to empower young people, foster resilience, and create brighter futures.

Beyondly go above and beyond

30th July 2024

“She came back so happy, relaxed and mature. She was practically glowing! She really enjoyed herself and was absolutely buzzing to have won a prize for her t-shirt design. Thank you for looking after her and giving her a wonderful time.” Parent

Thanks to funding from Beyondly we have been able to offer 6 residential experiences to the children and young people at SELFA. Altogether, 72 children have been able to enjoy a 2 day programme at Eshton Grange where they took part in workshops delivered by Project Wild to learn more about the environment, our impact on the environment and steps we could take to be more sustainable. We also enjoyed swimming in the outdoor pool, meeting lots of animals and creepy crawlies and enjoyed campfires! Members of the Beyondly team volunteered their weekends to help out.

The impact of enjoying a residential experience together with their peers and staff has had a longer term impact on the young people as they have been able to share positive experiences and make memories together that they will treasure forever. Due to the connections they have with their peers, the young people have a more positive attitude in their sessions at SELFA, so they get more out of attendence. They also feel a greater sense of belonging to their community.

“This has been the best weekend ever! I was actually very brave holding the snake because I’ve always thought they would hurt me but it was actually really cute. Can we come back next week?” Young person

“My daughter is absolutely buzzing with how much she enjoyed it” Parent

“I honestly can’t thank you enough for giving my happy and witty girl back. She has such a positive attitude to life now that people care about her and love her for who she is” Parent

SELFA celebrates after being awarded their biggest ever grant!

16th July 2024

SELFA has secured £299,537 funding from The National Lottery Community Fund (NLCF) to launch it’s “SELFA Go Wild” project which will help to increase our focus on health and wellbeing for children and young people living in Craven.

SELFA Go Wild builds on the success of an existing project, SELFA Springboard. Over three years, SELFA will enhance social action opportunities for 300 children and young people aged 4-18 years. Through outdoor and environmental activities, peer support, youth voice and co-design we will help children to build their confidence to speak up and make a difference in their community. We will also provide opportunities for 25 young people aged 19-25 to volunteer and co-deliver SELFA groups.

SELFA Chief Officer, Emma Pears had this to say about the funding:

“We are absolutely thrilled that the National Lottery Community Fund has continued to recognise our work in this way. Now, thanks to National Lottery players, we will be able to enrich the support available to children and young people experiencing vulnerabilities in their own community. This is more important than ever as the cost of living crisis has amplified the issues that our families face and we want to ensure everyone has access to the support they need where they live.” 

North Craven in the Community

12th July 2024

‘Being part of the community is important as you learn how others are feeling and it’s how people connect!’ (quote from young person in Bentham)

Children and young people having a sense of belonging is a huge part of SELFA as a charity and something we are constantly working towards. Working to help the community and create a larger support network can be very rewarding and gives children and young people a sense of achievement and ownership over their actions.

The Bentham primary group have spent time at the Community Allotment over the last two summers learning how to grow and harvest their own produce. The group chose to grow things like sweet peas, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, herbs and strawberries and were amazed by the things they were able to dig up last year.

The children said

‘It’s fun to be with friends in nature’ (Child aged 8)

‘We grew lots of different vegetables, some I hadn’t heard of before’ (Child aged 7)

‘We got to dig them up at the end’ (Child aged 9)

Learning through Field to Fork has been a great experience for the group and we can’t thank the Bentham Community Allotment team enough for allowing us to use the space. This year, although we haven’t been down as much as we would have liked, we have had the opportunity to plant and enjoy the benefits of being outside.  We have looked at the impact fresh air and gardening has on mental well-being and applied this to our own lives. This summer we hope to create a bug hotel. Watch This Space!

This year the Settle Primary group have been lucky enough to get involved with the Settle Flower Pot display. For those that don’t know, this is the largest display of flower pots in the UK and it takes place in Settle every summer. There are over 300 different designs that are displayed all over the town.  The group got their craft on and created the most amazing bugs ready to be hung in one of Settle’s shop windows. See if you can spot them – and tag us on our social media if you do!

Thank you to the Settle Flower Pot committee for giving up their time to run a workshop to help us put them together. The children really enjoyed learning new skills and working together to make the buggiest of bugs! They were very proud of themselves and can’t wait to show their families.

‘I enjoyed using the ties to clip them together, mine was really bright’ (Child aged 5)

‘I wanted a butterfly because you can make their wings pretty’ (Child aged 7)

‘My spider matches my friends’ (Child aged 6)

Here’s a sneak peak of our creation!!

From planting to painting both North craven primary groups have thrived through the chance to get involved in their own communities!

Mighty Minds is mightier than ever!

23rd May 2024

SELFA are very pleased to say that Mighty Minds is continuing in 2024-2025 which will allow us to support more young people in Craven experiencing mild-moderate mental health needs. We’re looking forward to meeting new young people and visiting more schools across our wonderfully rural district.

April 2023 marked the beginning of our Mighty Minds programme, a new strand to SELFA’s mental health provision. Mighty Minds is a part of the Youth In Mind service coordinated by Mind In Bradford. SELFA are one of eight providers delivering mental health and wellbeing support across the Bradford district and Craven.

SELFA’s Mighty Minds programme offers both one-to-one mentoring support and a group wellbeing programme for children and young people aged 5-19 and up to 25 with additional needs. We travel across the Craven district delivering the programme in both primary and secondary schools. If a child accesses the one-to-one support, they will receive up to six mentoring sessions where they can explore their emotions and work with staff to set and plan the goals they would like to achieve. If a child accesses the group support, they will join their peers on a 10-week wellbeing programme that aims to develop emotional intelligence and devise positive coping strategies to help them manage their emotions.

From April 2023- March 2024, SELFA supported 107 young people via the Mighty Minds programme across 18 different schools. We’ve received some wonderful feedback from young people, parents and schools about the programme and the difference that it has made.

“It’s actually been refreshing to have someone come and see me that actually listens.” – Young person, aged 14.

“I know how to talk about my feelings now. I used to not like talking about them but I can do it now.” – Child, aged 8.

“My daughter has been attending the Mindful programme that Lucy from SELFA ran on Thursday afternoons. I just wanted to pass on my thanks as she has really enjoyed the sessions and I believe has benefitted significantly from attending. Is there any further support from SELFA that she would be able to access?” – Parent

“A has found it very beneficial to have this time out of class with yourself. Not only has it presented him time to talk about his feelings but it has given him some quiet time away from peers. A told me that he appreciated time away from his friends who are a distraction. It’s difficult for us to find time to do this at school within his timetable so we appreciate your ongoing support.” – Class Teacher

To find out more about Mighty Minds or other mental health support that SELFA can offer please do get in touch. You can also find out more about the Youth In Mind service here https://www.mindinbradford.org.uk/support-for-you/youth-in-mind/ .